Saturday, May 14, 2011

Our current 7 stages

Someone once wrote there are seven stages we go through in dealing with grief. I would suggest there are jjst 7 stages we go through when dealing with life changing decisions. Our current life changing decision is going full-time in our 5th wheel come June 2013.
We wanted to share how each of the stages related to our choice.

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
Not just ours, bt friends and family. Particularly family. At first we wondered if this had ANY basis of reality. We knew it had been done. I had done somethng similar in 1982 when I rode the bicycle 5,000 miles cros country. Are we really considering this idea? Our children just laughed upon hearing the idea for the first time. As we become more comfortable with the notion, family became more nervous and denial was evident in their conversation and statements like, "You aren't going to take a chance like that..."


2. PAIN & GUILT-
Mostly induced, again, by family. They are quick to remind us of al the family stuff we are going to miss. That there will be milestones in their lives and the lives of the grandchildren we will never be able to experience again. That we should consider how they will feel and what do they tell the rest of the family?

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
This is were we get angry and frustrated towards family for ignoring our dreams and needs. The kids start to bargin, saying they will come b and vist more if we lived near them. They were "planning" to visit us, but if we are moving why bother...

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Again, the kids start to feel abandoned. COmments about being left, rejected and no longer caring are now being mumbled. We fight off feelings of depression and consider asking for more prozac or zoloft to get us through the complaints.


5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As we begin to finally feel comfortable with our decision, knowing there os really no other viable choice, the kids try to sound sincere and supportive. Inbetween the previous 4 stages, the kids let slip and "That's going to be great.." comment.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
Our kids are almost here. Though the struggle with full support, they do their best to say positive comments. Mary and I have started writing out lists of what needs to be done and when it shold be done by.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-

Everyone in the family is still working on this. Even we have difficulties every once in awhile believing we have gotten through the other 6 stages.


Today we are facing an 8th stage.

8. HAVE WE LEFT YET?

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